lunes, 7 de abril de 2008

expected to be in a certain way

After reading another blog's post about vests, I realized maybe it was time to take mine out and wear it a bit more before they are definitely past their time. In my personal opinion, that is happening already. It's funny, vests should be one of those timeless pieces in everyone's wardrobes, but there seems to have been such a vest overdose in the last couple of years that my guess is that they'll have to be put to sleep for a long time to come before they stop being annoying.
But anyhow, I don't think that time has come yet, and then again I could just be completely wrong.

I decided to wear a bit more of my good ol'vest today and that triggered some conversations and thoughts. I've always been more a whimsical, femenine, vintage-dresses kind of gal. I knit, so my outfits tend to be accentuated by long relaxed scarfs, knitted berets and lacy items. That is, most of the time, the kind of look I feel makes sense with my personality and my personal and particular view of the world. When the city becomes just a bit to overwhelming, and the modern world seems too much likes its on a rush, it feels good to dress like you belong to a little cottage in the woods. I've been dressing like that for the last couple of years, specially while I was involved with my ex-boyfriend, a relationship that lasted 2 years. He has a very set and narrow mind on how women should be, and his ideas on what femeninity means, initially seemed very appealing and attractive to me. In an environment where most guys want bare skin, tight clothes and 'sexy' looks, its seemed to me so refreshing to find someone that was attracted to my usual style. In a country where most people dress the same, and there is one set ideal of beauty, it was encouraging to be with someone that understood what I felt and allowed me to explore it.

Nevertheless, I realized in time that what I thought was liberating, was actually quite restrictive. He also had a very narrow mind on what beautiful was, and I realized I couldn't really experiment with who I was or how I expressed myself. I was expected to be in a certain way, and anything else was me just being crazy or messing with myself.

So I ran into him today. And when he looked at me, his first comment was 'hey! that's not you! why are you dressed like this' and shaked his head in disaproval.

The thing is, I wouldn't mind him not liking my outfit. What seriously annoyed me was the 'it's not you' comment. What is it about people that makes them have the need to create a set image of everyone around them? Why should we be 'someone'? We should be able to be anyone we want, and one of the greatest things about human nature for me, is the way in which we can hold contrasts and contradictions within us. Clothes should be about expresing our many natures, being able to change and change again. They definitely shouldn't be about proving a point to anyone. Life shouldn't be about proving a point. If you are working so hard at trying to show everyone else what you want them to see in you, you are still acting for them.

Its true, the outfit here is not reflective of my usual style. But it is how I felt today, therefore it represents a true part of who I am.

12 comentarios:

Aisha dijo...

No, no tienen por qué encasillarte. Como dices es raro encontrar a un novio a quien no le guste eso de mostrar todo, jaja. Que paja que conociste a uno, pese a que luego resultó de mente un poco cerrada para los cambios. Igual, lo que te pusiste me encantó y no fuiste en contra de tu idea de como una mujer puede lucir sexy sin la necesidad de ponerse el escote más escotado de todos.

Por cierto, hoy ví artes y resulta que ahora quieren que la cafeta de artes sea solo para los de artes =L... yo como en letras igual... pero creo que lo que piden es un poco extremo.

Sunniva dijo...

Love your outfit !
the vest is very pretty and it suits you !


Kira Fashion dijo...


your style is soo cool, i found you by your friend coloreu bleu, who choose you as her links of the day :)

so, i am adding you too,
a kiss and a hug,

Luxe. dijo...

Hmmm maybe I should give my vest a little outing? I forget I have one!

e.jay dijo...

Glad you dropped that guy, otherwise how could we see your super-fashionable outfits? Thanks for complimenting my blog post!

jenny h. dijo...

love your outfit!
great blog!

Cate dijo...

hey - vintage dresses and vests can go really well together, why not give it a shot?
yeah, that "it's not you" comment would have annoyed me too. i don't understand why people always have to label each other.
i love your outfit and you're really pretty.

millicent dijo...

pshhh your ex obviously doesn't know who you are then haha. that is a very cute outfit, we have similar styles

i love the name of your blog, its from the song by mogwai, right?

btw, i'm linking you back =)

Addison dijo...

thanks for the comment and sweet words bub!! ive linked you back :)
you are rocking the vests, i love it!

stilettostetico dijo...

The stylish sublimation of "casualness" . . . especially With "Denim Shorts" and ballet flats, Or a sexy-elegant aesthetic mix !!!

Cordially, Antoine

coco dijo...

I love that outfit
The waistcoat is totally cute!!!!

Romeika dijo...

Love how you accessorize a plain summer look transforming it in a far from plain one. Great inspiration!